"Could you turn that TV DOWN PLEASE!?!"  Um, could you Shut the F up?  Damn, that was harsh lady.  Why don't you chillax for a second and give this guy a break.  He's probably losing his hearing from all that yappin' you do in his ear on a daily basis!  I'm kind of surprised at this point in the relationship that he isn't just sleeping in the guest room or even the couch.  At least then, he could watch some shitty late night TV as loud as he wants.  Fight for your right to party, dude!  You don't have to take that harassment.

"DOES THAT HAVE TO BE SO LOUD!!!"  Again, you really need to chill, bitch.  This lady seems like she is a complete douche!  How are they still married?  This guy must be going nuts inside and must want to slap her upside the grill with that remote.  I'm not even sure she is acting either.  Why you gotta yell at my boy so much?  You don't hear him complaining about your wrinkly face and saggy titties, do you?  By the way, does she not realize she is using a PORTABLE phone?  Take it in the next room and let him enjoy the TV, which is probably one of his few escapes from your menopause filled rage.

Oh, no way!  It's that old bitch who can't find her car again!  She has a whole assortment of issues and ailments.  First it was memory loss and now it's hearing problems.  Why don't you just call it a day sweetheart and take it inside.  You obviously can't function in the real world at this point in your life and you're probably causing more harm than good.

There they go with that "micro technology" again.   "It's smaller than a credit card".  You don't say.  If being discreet was the goal of the tiny form factor, it kind of defeats the purpose since you still have to put those shiny, low quality headphones on.  How many people are really going to think you're listening to an iPod?  They don't make MP3's of vaudeville cabaret...

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