BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!  This might be the most unintentionally hilarious infomercial of all time!  I think we can all agree that it was a guy who made this product, right?  I'm sure it was some dude that wasn't gettin' enough action at home or realized his woman was a little "weak" in certain areas.  I never knew that motion was considered "Dynamic Inertia".  HA HA!!!

Ladies, if you want to get sculpted arms just hook your man up with a little extra foreplay action on a more regular basis.  You'll get that workout you're looking to get your arms toned for your dresses and tank tops and your man will be more than happy to help you with your "workout" every day. 

Has it really come to this?  "And in these tough times, ring it back into the glass and it's ready to drink all over."  WOW!  That is the most retarded thing I've ever heard.  That's ridiculous even for the sketchy infomercial folks to say.  Who thought that was a good idea? 

This is either a complete joke or an outtake from the actual informercial because hey can't be dumb enough to use this as a selling point.   Um, right?!?!

Are you tired of the ever present toxins that come from the backbreaking struggle of modern life?

Is it sad that not I not only recognize every one of these ads but I've also seen them multiple times?  It's not like I'm an insomniac or watch TV 18 hours a day.  I do have a job and I'm doing stuff like writing sarcastic blog posts about infomercials when I get home.  That's kind of productive, right?

It's kind of crazy when you see all of the sales pitches all in one place like this.  You would think Americans were fat, lazy, poor and...oh wait.  We really are very busy and waste a lot of money though.  Damn, life sure is tough.  Thank God we have all of these products to make our lives easier/better/more productive.

Thanks crappy infomercial products!

I'm not sure what to think about the "Bottle Top".  On one hand, it seems like it would actually be kind of useful.  My wife leaves open cans all over the place and I just end up throwing out the rest of the drink or finishing off the warm, flat grossness on my own so we're not wasting any soft drink goodness.   Maybe the Bottle Top will help save our marriage because I will stop yelling at her for leaving fallen soldiers all over the place like it was a college dorm party.   I should make her funnel the remainder as part of my marital hazing...

On the other hand, do you really need a product like this?  How often are you really going to remember to go grab it on your way out the door or when you go outside to BBQ?  It seems like more of a hassle than anything else and it's just another plastic product that's going to take up valuable space in your cabinets. 

You could also just buy smaller cans like those little 8 oz. joints you see at bars.  There cheaper and you don't have to worry about the waste but you might look like an idiot holding on to a soda fit for a midget.  Or you could just buy bottles and solve the problem all together.

One last thing.  There is no way in hell anyone is using this with their beer  cans unless they are a complete loser.  If I ever see someone sipping their Budweiser or Miller Lite with one of these things on top, I will go right up to them and punch them in the face.  Just drink it faster, sissy!!!

 WOW!  Is this for real?   

"For over 100 years we've been SCRUNCHING and FOLDING toilet paper. Finally there's a better way!"

Um, I didn't realize there WAS a problem.  Did people really have issues with "touching" dirty toilet paper?  Just fold it over stupid.  And who the F scrunches it up like that to wipe their ass?  No wonder you are getting shit on your hands you morons!

Oh!   I see who they are trying to "reach" with the Comfort Wipe.  All the fat mofos that can't reach their ass.   

"Being a big guy certainly has it's advantages and it's disadvantages."

What were those advantages again?  I'm pretty sure this dude can't see his penis or walk up a flight of stairs without sweating through his shirt and passing out so any "advantage" he has for being a fat bastard is pretty much nullified.  Winning a pie eating competition is not something I really need to do.

"Extend your reach a full 18 inches."

YIKES!  If you need that much extra reach you should probably just kill yourself.  Wait a minute!  It's not just fat people?  Old people want in on this too?

"It's embarrassing to have someone help you with your personal matters.  The Comfort Wipe allows you to maintain your dignity while you maintain your personal hygene."  

HA!  I'm pretty sure any dignity you had left just flew out the window as soon as you signed on to do this awful infomercial.  I guess Social Security wasn't paying the bills anymore. 

This might be the most retarded infomercial product ever!  RIDICULOUS!!!

R.I.P. Billy Mays

Wow.  I don't know what to say.  What is going on with all of these celebrity deaths?  This has been a rough couple of weeks.  First it was Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.  Now it's Billy Mays.

Michael Jackson's death really messed me up because he was a big childhood idol of mine.  Although it was not as equally devastating to most people, the death of Billy Mays really upset me a well.  He is one of the main reasons that I started InformercialAddict.com.  I love infomercials because of this guy.

Even though most of the site is dedicated to making fun of the ridiculous and amusing infomercials on late night TV, I still felt the need to highlight Billy Mays in a serious manner.  I never thought the products he was promoting were a joke because he sold it so well.  He had ridiculous energy and always made you feel like he believed in the product he was selling.  There was nothing fake about him.

I think he was well on his way to becoming a much bigger star because of the success of his Discover Channel show "Pitchmen".  If you watched the show, you could see that not only was he very serious about his job but he was also a good guy who liked to have fun.  There was something about his personality that instantly made you like him and you could see that he was loved by people everywhere he went.  He will definitely be missed.  My love of infomercials may never be the same.

Here are a few of his classic infomercials and some random dedication videos below.  Check out my previous post "The Best of Billy Mays - Volume 1" or the Top 10 Billy Mays Commercials over at AsSeenOnTVVideo.com.  There are some super rare infomercials in there that even I have never seen!

This isn't quite infomercial related but it's definitely close enough to post on this site.  QVC and the Home Shopping Network are basically the live versions of infomercials anyway.  I'm sure most of the products discussed in this Current.com video have probably had some version of an infomercial at one time or another.

The funny thing is, this video is supposed to be making fun of all the crap they show you on these channels and how you don't really need them but I found myself thinking "Damn.  I kind of want that" or "Oh shit!  I NEED that!"

I already have a nice all in one printer with a scanner that I bought for about $100 but I definitely feel like I need the 4x6 portable photo scanner.  It's only $76.92!!!!  I'm an idiot.