I know this has been around for more than a year and there is a high probability that you might have already seen it since over 11 million peeps have viewed it on YouTube but somehow I missed it so it's new to me.  I guess I'm slippin' in my old age. 

What makes it worse is that I'm a huge fan of DJ Steve Porter's classic sports mashup videos and have already done 3 separate posts over at DjRyB.com with my favorites such as "Press Hop" versions 1 and 2 and "You Play to Win the Game" which was created for the NFL.  WTF is wrong with me?!?!

This is obviously right up my alley with the mashup of Hip Hop and Infomercials.  How did no one ever send this to me before???  Come on people!  Help a brother out!

Who is the asshole that came up with the Cami Secret?  It had to have been an ugly chick, right?  What the hell is this crap?!?!  Was too much cleavage ever a real issue for anyone?  I mean, if a woman is showing her guns you can assume nothing but good things are going to happen for everyone involved.  Sure, guys might stare and ogle but you can guarantee they are going to be more interested in whatever it is they have to say and that seems like a win/win for everyone.

Why is it that chicks that don't have boobs always try and squish them together and make them bigger or add a little padding to their bra while chicks with bombs always try to hide them?  I have never been able to figure this out.  Let them puppies breathe girl!  God gave them to you for everyone to enjoy.  Take advantage of your gifts to the world!!!

I understand for some bigger chested woman that it's difficult to hide your boobs no matter how hard you try and I can respect the fact that you don't want people staring at your cleavage all day at work but here's a solution for you.  DON'T WHERE CLOTHES THAT SHOW OFF YOUR CLEAVAGE!!!  It seems like a pretty simple solution.  Then you don't need to worry about attaching what is basically a handkerchief to your bra every day.  Ridiculous. 

Now these are some products I can appreciate.  They actually CREATE and ENHANCE the cleavage line, not try and take away one of the greatest things on earth.  I'm pretty sure a guy invented all of these but that's besides the point...

Shapechangers Uplifting Contouring Bra

Extreme Cleavage Plunge Bra

NuBra Sexy Cleavage Creator

It's been awhile since I've posted something new so I thought I would hit you off with a nice little infomercial compilation of "Doing It Wrong" that I found recently. 

Everyone knows that you start off an infomercial by convincing suckers people that they have a serious problem that needs a solution.  This contains almost every single problem that's ever been conceived by infomercial producers and has over 1 million views on YouTube. Well done. 

BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!  This might be the most unintentionally hilarious infomercial of all time!  I think we can all agree that it was a guy who made this product, right?  I'm sure it was some dude that wasn't gettin' enough action at home or realized his woman was a little "weak" in certain areas.  I never knew that motion was considered "Dynamic Inertia".  HA HA!!!

Ladies, if you want to get sculpted arms just hook your man up with a little extra foreplay action on a more regular basis.  You'll get that workout you're looking to get your arms toned for your dresses and tank tops and your man will be more than happy to help you with your "workout" every day. 

Has it really come to this?  "And in these tough times, ring it back into the glass and it's ready to drink all over."  WOW!  That is the most retarded thing I've ever heard.  That's ridiculous even for the sketchy infomercial folks to say.  Who thought that was a good idea? 

This is either a complete joke or an outtake from the actual informercial because hey can't be dumb enough to use this as a selling point.   Um, right?!?!

Are you tired of the ever present toxins that come from the backbreaking struggle of modern life?

Is it sad that not I not only recognize every one of these ads but I've also seen them multiple times?  It's not like I'm an insomniac or watch TV 18 hours a day.  I do have a job and I'm doing stuff like writing sarcastic blog posts about infomercials when I get home.  That's kind of productive, right?

It's kind of crazy when you see all of the sales pitches all in one place like this.  You would think Americans were fat, lazy, poor and...oh wait.  We really are very busy and waste a lot of money though.  Damn, life sure is tough.  Thank God we have all of these products to make our lives easier/better/more productive.

Thanks crappy infomercial products!

I'm not sure what to think about the "Bottle Top".  On one hand, it seems like it would actually be kind of useful.  My wife leaves open cans all over the place and I just end up throwing out the rest of the drink or finishing off the warm, flat grossness on my own so we're not wasting any soft drink goodness.   Maybe the Bottle Top will help save our marriage because I will stop yelling at her for leaving fallen soldiers all over the place like it was a college dorm party.   I should make her funnel the remainder as part of my marital hazing...

On the other hand, do you really need a product like this?  How often are you really going to remember to go grab it on your way out the door or when you go outside to BBQ?  It seems like more of a hassle than anything else and it's just another plastic product that's going to take up valuable space in your cabinets. 

You could also just buy smaller cans like those little 8 oz. joints you see at bars.  There cheaper and you don't have to worry about the waste but you might look like an idiot holding on to a soda fit for a midget.  Or you could just buy bottles and solve the problem all together.

One last thing.  There is no way in hell anyone is using this with their beer  cans unless they are a complete loser.  If I ever see someone sipping their Budweiser or Miller Lite with one of these things on top, I will go right up to them and punch them in the face.  Just drink it faster, sissy!!!